Most students know within the first two weeks if a living situation feels off. The problem is that you are also being told - directly or indirectly - to "give it time", "be more chill" or "everyone struggles at first". There is a difference between normal adjustment and genuine red flags.
Normal Awkward vs. Real Red Flag
Some discomfort is normal:
- Forgetting names, bumping into each other in the kitchen, small talk overload.
- Not knowing whose mug is whose yet.
- Minor noise or timing clashes while everyone figures out routines.
Red flags are patterns that signal safety, respect or compatibility problems - not just personality quirks.
Move-In Week Red Flags to Take Seriously
Pay attention if you notice:
- Repeated boundary breaks: people walking into your room without knocking, going through your things, or dismissing "I need to sleep" as overreacting.
- Disrespect for agreements: house rules you agreed before moving in are ignored on day one.
- Concerning substance use: heavy use that makes you feel unsafe or affects your ability to rest or study.
- Hostility or bullying dynamics: people being mocked in group chats, ganging up or being frozen out.
- Pressure to sign or pay for things you do not understand: rushed contracts, additional "fees" that were not discussed, or pressure to pay cash without records.
Your nervous system is there to keep you alive, not to keep everyone comfortable. If you feel constantly on edge at home, that information matters.
What You Can Still Adjust in the First Weeks
Before you jump to moving out, there are steps you can try:
- Clarify expectations – use a short house meeting to agree on quiet hours, guests and cleaning (see our article Group Chats, Ground Rules).
- Use "I" statements – "I am finding it hard to sleep when there’s noise after midnight. Could we agree on a quiet time on weeknights?"
- Document serious issues – especially safety, harassment or illegal behaviour.
- Involve support – talk to your university housing or student support service early, not after months of misery.
If things improve after clear conversations, you may simply have had a rough landing. If nothing changes - or you are punished for speaking up - that is important data.
If You Need to Leave
Sometimes the safest, sanest choice is to get out. In that case, your financial and legal safety net matters. Our safety checklist covers contracts, deposits and your tenant rights. Many universities also have mediation or housing advisers who can help you navigate next steps.
Yes, there are costs to leaving - but there are also costs to staying somewhere that is wrecking your sleep, focus and mental health. Those costs often show up later as failed modules, extended degrees and heavy burnout (American Psychological Association, 2019).
Designing the Next Chapter Differently
Whether you stay or go, move‑in week is valuable data for your next choice. Ask yourself:
- What specifically felt off - sleep, guests, cleanliness, communication, safety?
- What warning signs did I ignore because I felt desperate for housing?
- What are my non‑negotiables for the next place?
You can literally encode those lessons into your Domu Match profile. Be honest about your sleep needs, guest boundaries, cleaning standards and social battery. Then let the matching engine help you filter for people whose answers align.
You can start that reset any time on our sign‑up page.
References
American Psychological Association. (2019). College mental health: The costs of depression, anxiety and stress. In Monitor on Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/09/cover-college-mental-health