If you are introverted or neurodivergent, university can feel like a never‑ending group project: lectures, seminars, group work, societies, part‑time jobs. By the time you get home, the last thing you want is to keep performing. You need a place where your brain can actually power down.
The Exhaustion of Being "On" 24/7
A lot of introverts and neurodivergent students spend most of their day masking - carefully managing how they come across, filtering sensory input and holding themselves together in busy spaces. Research on social fatigue shows that continuous social performance without adequate recovery is linked to increased stress and burnout symptoms (e.g., Wagner et al., 2021).
If your home is also loud, busy and unpredictable, you never get out of "performance mode". That can show up as:
- Snapping at people over small things.
- Cancelled plans you actually wanted to go to.
- Brain fog when you try to study.
- Feeling guilty for “not being more fun”.
Needing Alone Time ≠ Hating Your Roommates
Wanting alone time is not a rejection of your housemates; it is how your nervous system resets. But in many student flats, closing your door gets interpreted as "they don’t like us". That misunderstanding can make introverts feel pressured to hang out even when they are running on empty.
Mental health organisations consistently recommend building in quiet, low‑stimulation time as a core coping strategy for anxiety and overload (National Institute of Mental Health, 2022). Your living situation can support that - or sabotage it.
How Domu Match Uses "Social Battery" and Quiet Hours
Domu Match includes questions designed specifically for this:
- Social battery: how often you like to socialise at home, from "most evenings" to "only occasionally".
- Quiet hours: what times you need the flat to be low‑noise on weekdays and weekends.
- Home vibe: whether you want a social hub, chill base or mostly quiet sanctuary.
When you answer honestly, our compatibility engine can match you with students who:
- Also value quiet evenings.
- Understand that closed doors mean "recharging", not rejection.
- Do not expect you to be “on” 24/7 just because you share a hallway.
You can explore those alignment patterns in your match overview.
Language You Can Use to Set Boundaries
Some scripts you can borrow:
- "If my door is closed, it usually just means I’m recharging. It’s not personal - I’ll come hang out when my brain comes back online."
- "Could we agree that after [time] on weeknights the flat is mostly quiet? It really helps my sleep and anxiety."
- "I’d love to join, but I’m out of social battery tonight. Can we plan another night this week?"
Designing a Flat That Recharges You
When you are looking for housing, prioritise:
- Roommates whose social battery answers are similar to yours.
- People who describe home as "chill", "low‑key" or "quiet".
- Matches who agree on quiet hours and respect for alone time.
Use Domu Match as your filter for this. Build your profile honestly, then narrow down to matches whose social habits and quiet‑hour expectations feel soothing rather than stressful.
References
National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Anxiety disorders. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders
Wagner, D. D., et al. (2021). The exhausting nature of social interactions: Social fatigue and well‑being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672211031296